every little thing is gonna be alright (and just ignore those cosmetology bitches)

So I have been away from the blog for what seems like forever and a lot has happened.

Joe and I are doing a lot better, he has found a new job and I think he is feeling really positive about it. We are still broken up and a new job isn't going to fix it.  I think he is accepting our friendship, because in the end, as he put it he "has to accept it".  I feel good about it and have found more Tina time which can sometimes can be a hard thing to fill, but the opportunity is exciting.

My closest friend at beauty school is having a really tough time with depression. I don't really understand depression as a disease, more as a feeling you sometimes have. I keep wanting to tell my friend to just snap out of it, which because I am an empathetic and tactful person I do not, but I do give suggestions like to hit the gym more because that naturally boosts your mood, as well as drinking water (the number one cause of afternoon fatigue -- dehydration) and to spoil yourself and watch a good movie with a jar of olives (something my sister continually recommends when I am upset).

However, my friend doesn't like olives.  

Normally I would take this as a character judgement, but she isn't feeling so well so I will tell her at another time that not liking olives is similar to not like fun, or italians and she may be either a stick in the mud or a bigot.

And I think she found my thought that her depression just added to simple dehydration a bit naive. In my defense she did complain of being chronically fatigued, unable to get out of bed, etc. I'm not a jerk, I just think a lot of Americans are dehydrated.

But she did take up the exercise suggestion and it has helped. However she is still going to the health department to get on Welbutrin (sp?). 

Which is strange to me because she is constantly anxious about getting pregnant with her new bf  and I am always like get on birth control, dude.

But she is afraid of synthetic hormones. 

Hopefully the irony of this statement is not lost on you.

I mean,  isn't Welbutrin and other antidepressants kind of the same thing? I just always imagined that antidepressants can rob of you of something sacred, but maybe if you are depressed chronically something sacred has already been robbed from you.

Prevention magazine also recommends knitting, its meditative mind state helps ease depression symptoms. I mentioned this to her as well, seeing as how I am a vat of  random knowledge.

 I just found the comment ironic. I think she is also afraid of weight gain. Today a girl commented that she looked like she gained a little weight and my friend lost it and went home. 

But why are bitches saying that anyway? I wouldn't tell any of my girlfriends they looked like they had gained weight, unless I was a sadomasochist or something.

Which I'm not. I like eating olives and watching movies. Chihuahuas. Yogurt. Pilates. Kites.

Sadomasochism?

No thanks.

(P.s. If any of you reading this have suffered from depression I apologize, I am just venting and am sensitive to the devastating nature of the disease, even if I don't understand)

Speaking of sadomasochism sans the sado, the other burning topic was that I officially have known (as an acquaintance in my early college years) a serial rapist/potentially brutal murderer. My life is turning into a Lifetime movie!

I didn't know him well, always thought he was annoying and weird. A little full of himself (massive insecurities?) and kind of a pathological liar.  The even weirder thing is that months before when these prostitutes were getting raped and stabbed (And if you don't think a prostitute can be raped shame on you, read Cunt, watch that Charleze Theron movie and change your mind please) they put out a profile, they recruited these out of state profilers, like that tv show The Profiler, except these were from SC because NC just thinks they don't need these kinds of special people, anyway these profilers gave the exact description that I just gave you of this guy, plus that he would live close to where the assaults happen (he does) live alone (does that too) and have an employment situation where he answers to no one as well (checkmate).

  Now that the truth is out I keep thinking that all the weirdos and people who stare or are just giving off the creepy vibe are potential psychopaths.

Seriously, when CSI is done with the remains found in different locations and matches the bags of hair and box of teeth confiscated in his house...

But that could take months. I am so totally grossed out. I can't stop thinking about the girl he "person of interested" might have killed and cut up and thrown in the river.  

I just think about if Liz had gotten to rent that room in the Future of Traditions studio instead of him how things might be different.  I mean he hung out in that place all the time, doing odd jobs, pretending to be normal.  Asheville boasts of being such a progressive community, but no one in that hoity toity fucking stupid arts community even realized that he sexually and physically assaulted his ex-gf. (And you don't think your sig. other can be raped then you must reread Cunt and perhaps take a class in Humanism) It makes me so angry, that whole scene gave off this creative holier than thow above this bull shit but they are in it. They are in the shit.  I feel for them, God, what a violation. That secret double life.

Here is the full gruesome story if you're interested.

I mean this guy hit on me a few times (or in this weird, cocky, I am a woman magnet kind of way that totally backfired because he was awkward and weird, just weird  -- Thank God I was not a complete idiot and followed my bad vibe feel on this one. Its weird that some people say they were surprised by all this -- seriously, I'm not.) We had conversations. We smoked together on a tree beside the river where he may have dumped this prostitutes body years later, maybe he was doing that then, this train of thought could just keep on going. I  gotta stop typing about this, Bella is picking up on my vibe. Chihuahuas are very sensitive. I'm bringing one on my next date.

On a lighter note, I still find watching/listening to my grandmother eat without glueing in her dentures extremely annoying/stomach churning.  I am finding a lot of things she does exasperating and maybe I am losing sight/taking too personally many of things she says, and am also jealous I didn't inherit a large sum of money upon turning 21 so I could fulfill my dream of traveling around the world (think cousins, not grandma, although she does live off of a trust fund) instead of cook my grandma meals, clean house, take to the salon, library, grocery store all because I just don't have enough for gas, even when I was bartending.

However, my friend Morgan had a good point when I told her why I was grumpy (and I am jealous, downright fucking green) that if my mom had it she would would give it to me. And she is right.  But that brings up another point, I am really rich in family, no matter how dysfunctional, awkward and unable to glue their dentures in, I have a great family that will support me and just wants me to be happy and that's not something money can buy.

 But that's why I am in beauty school. To make the big bucks. And travel. Before I am too old. You know I wasn't going to end on too sappy a note.

Ciao!